THE PERCEPTION VERSUS REALITY OF SUCCESS PART 2 OF 2

I welcome everyone to Part 2 of 2. If you didn’t get to read Part 1, I highly suggest taking a moment to look at last week’s reflection to set the stage for this one. 

For those who are ready for the three things I left you on a cliffhanger with last week, let me share some context before diving in. We all have moments when we wish there was a rewind button and a redo option. If you’ve ever seen a time travel movie, you know that just one subtle change in a seemingly trivial life choice can create a butterfly effect that not only changes your life, but the lives of those around you. 

A LIFE CHOICE CAN CHANGE THE COURSE OF HISTORY

Think about these scenarios, “What if you moved to another state before your freshman year of high school?” or, “What if you went to a totally different college/university?” -- Those scenarios would have created a whole new set of experiences, friends, opportunities, and outcomes. Connecting these changes to the present day, consider, “Would you still be friends with your childhood friends if you transferred to an out of state high school?” If you met your spouse in college, imagine if your younger self had chosen a different institution to attend. Your current status could be with a totally different partner, your children wouldn’t exist, or you could be single and living a totally different life in a totally different state and city.

There are so many things I would love to tell my younger self, but then when I really think about it, I’m at peace with where I am today--physically, mentally and spiritually. We can’t live life dwelling on what-if scenarios because we will drive ourselves crazy chasing the perfect storybook ending. The advice I’m about to share is not only to my younger self but to anyone starting out in life, and to anyone further along in life that needs to hear this very message. We have to be open to change and stepping outside of our comfort zone. The message is a reminder to believe in yourself, and consider the following.

DON’T BE AFRAID TO TRY NEW THINGS

The first would be to take advantage of paid and non-paid internships in industries that interest you. We often aspire to find that ultimate dream job, but don’t realize we’ve been chasing the wrong dream until after we’ve deeply invested ourselves in it.

When I was in high school, I was great with numbers and enjoyed accounting. As a junior in high school I said, “I figured it out, I want to be an accountant!” In my junior and senior year of high school I was fortunate to work part time at the corporate office of a major restaurant franchise. The department I worked in was accounting.  Let’s just say that after spending two years there, I knew accounting wasn’t for me.  

I’m not knocking the profession, because I have the utmost respect for the finance and accounting space. But by getting that hands-on experience, I was able to discover that accounting wasn’t the career path for me. Imagine if, instead, I had gone to college and majored in accounting, and didn’t make that discovery until my first job after graduation. Getting the hands-on experience not only provides a simulation of what that career entails, but also establishes relationships that you can hold onto and potentially revisit down the road. In addition, you’ll learn a lot about how the business is run from being around key decision makers and executives.

Be careful not to take the relationships you established for granted, even if your direction changes. Later in life, the people you meet throughout your professional journey could play a role in your future, in ways you might not expect. 

While most of this is centered around trying new things in a professional context, the same idea applies across other areas of our lives. When I say, “don’t be afraid to try new things,” that means all kinds of thing. Don’t be afraid to travel to destinations you never imagined traveling to. Open your mind and talk to people of all ages, backgrounds and cultures. Use your time strategically and with purpose. And even acknowledge that at times it’s safer to stick to a routine and play things conservatively. I always go back to this quote by George Addair: “Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.”

INVEST EARLY AND DIVERSIFY

The second piece of advice I would tell my younger self would be to invest early, and play the long game. 

Looking back on my 20’s, I can see that I took for granted the flexible money I had that I tucked away for a car I wanted, vacation travel, and miscellaneous expenses in the moment. While I’ve always been financially responsible with saving and staying out of debt, I wish I invested more in my 20’s.

When you look at a stock like Amazon, in May of 1997 it was $18 a share. Today, Amazon common stock trades at around $3,000-$3,200 a share. Imagine that you had bought 300 shares back in the late 90’s or early 2000s? You’d be sitting on $900k to $1M in 2021.  Of course, for every Amazon, Apple, or Tesla, there was also a Webvan or Pets.com. There are ways to diversify your investments in set portfolios or index funds, rather than putting it all on one bet.  A financial advisor at your bank can assist you with those choices, but I also believe in doing your own due diligence and research, because you might gravitate towards a stock or mutual fund near and dear to you that could pay major dividends later in life. 

Rather than looking for quick wins through frequent trades, investing is more about playing the long game and setting yourself up with a financial cushion well before retirement. The instant gratification of a quick return on investment is exciting, but I believe in balancing expectations across the near, mid, and long term timelines. 

As a note to that younger crowd reading this, when an employer offers up a 401K and offers some form of matching, that is free money. Take advantage of that, and learn more about the rules and resources available to grow your future retirement money.

TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS

The third and final thing I’d tell my younger self is to trust your instincts and don’t be afraid to fail. 

Too many of us look back at our lives and say, “I wish I didn’t go down this path, or waste my time and energy on this situation, set of friends, or relationship.” In truth, the strength is in the struggle. In their moment, a lot of the people, careers, and things we committed our time toward served a purpose. 

Are there life choices we wish we could have bypassed to erase those dark memories? Maybe. Life can’t be lived fully just by learning from other people’s mistakes. In order for us to understand what’s meant for us, we have to experience the good, the bad, and the ugly firsthand to remind us what we like, what we don’t like, and what we rightfully deserve. We are guilty of compromising ourselves to appease others, fit in, or conform to what society says is acceptable. There will come a day where you’ll be at peace with who you are and what you were destined to be. Often the end result is something even our minds couldn’t predict. Life is a journey and there’s always something to be grateful for.

My closing advice to my younger self and anyone reading this reflection is to stay true to who you are and understand that with time and experience, everything will all make sense. It’s okay to not have all the answers, no matter what age you are. What we want in our 20’s isn’t going to be what we want in our 30’s, 40’s, 50’s and so on. It’s not selfish to love yourself. It’s okay to make mistakes and fail. You are here on earth to do many impactful things, why not control a part of the narrative that is your inner peace, happiness, who you surround yourself with, and your definition of success. Find a way to make your vision a reality.